(Published in Neshama, 2002)

 

 

Esther Rome, 1945-1995; Making Better Lives for Women

 

By Ruth Kertzer Seidman

 

To engage in Tikkun Olam, repairing the world, we must have the gift of insight-to see the world’s wrongs that need to be righted and to know how to set goals in order to right those wrongs. Esther Rome, my dear sister-in-law of blessed memory, was the possessor of that spiritual insight, that ability to set

goals and accomplish them.

 

Esther was a founder of the Boston Women’s Health Book Collective, one of the authors of Our Bodies, Ourselves, and an effective women’s health advocate.

 

Born on Rosh Hashanah in 1945, just as a new life and new hopes were starting for so many, Esther, my husband’s sister, grew up in a very small town in eastern Connecticut. She was the youngest of four children. Although there were very few Jews nearby, Leo and Rose Seidman took seriously the mitzvah of teaching Jewish values to their children. The entire family would read the week’s Torah portion together after Shabbat dinner every Friday night.

 

In her childhood and early adolescence, Esther watched her mother deal with a serious illness in the absence of adequate health care information. This was an important influence on what came to be her life's work of empowering women worldwide to demand respect and control over their own health decisions. Our Bodies, Ourselves has now been translated into 19 languages including Hebrew, and further translations and adaptations are in progress. The latest edition, published in 1998, is distributed worldwide.

 

Esther participated effectively as a media spokesperson and as a consumer representative. When toxic shock syndrome emerged as a serious problem, she served for many years on the American Society for Testing and Materials tampon task force, where she advocated for responsible labeling changes. She served on the Food and Drug Administration Committee that investigated the potential hazards of silicon breast implants. And on an individual level, she created and ran a support group for women who were experiencing devastating symptoms from silicon implants.

 

While influencing the larger world through her writing, media appearances, and advocacy work, Esther continued to exercise loving care and concern for her family and those around her. She took great joy and spiritual satisfaction in her life with her husband and two sons, traveling, gardening, creating a Jewish home, and supporting Jewish causes. Tikkun Olam on a grand scale did not preclude a very thoughtful attention to those around her, and Judaism continued to be an important part of her life.

 

At the age of 42 Esther was diagnosed with breast cancer. She and her family, friends, colleagues, and health care providers made every effort to confront and overcome the disease in the less than eight years remaining to her.

 

With a coauthor, Esther wrote Sacrificing Ourselves for Love, addressing the health risks of choices women make and covering such topics as breast implants, sexually transmitted diseases, and domestic violence. She completed the book shortly before her death, and publication was a year later. The book has had influence both in the United States and around the world. Plans are now being made to translate the book for use by a number of women’s self-help groups in Asia and the Balkans. This book exemplifies Esther’s deep desire to address women’s feelings of powerlessness.

 

Though failing in health, Esther had the strength of will and purpose to accomplish what I believe to be her final goals. In the last few months of her life, she completed the revisions of Sacrificing Ourselves for Love, participated actively in her younger son’s Bar Mitzvah, and lived to see her

elder son stand before her as a high school graduate with plans made for college. She instigated a first-ever reunion of her mother’s relatives, planned with two male cousins who, like her, were to turn 50 in 1995. The family reunion was held later that year, in her memory.

 

On Shabbat Shelah, 26 Sivan 5755 (24 June 1995), Esther Rachel Seidman Rome died in her home, surrounded by her family. May her life be a blessing and an inspiration to all of us.

 

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Ruth Kertzer Seidman is a Reconstructionist and a feminist.  In her professional life, she is an academic librarian.  Ruth is currently pursuing her interest in the many facets of Jewish spirituality.

 

ã 2000 Ruth K. Seidman